Blog

We believe our stories, the stories of the neighbors with whom we are in relationship, and the stories we read in scripture are vital in shaping the way we see and understand God’s presence in the world. This is one of the many places we gather to share the story of the people of the Sellwood Faith Community.


Seeing Beyond The Moment

I just got back from a Disney Cruise to Alaska with my mom, my aunt, and my daughter.  It was a lovely time and one of the best vacations I have ever had.  We saw amazing shows, ate well, got to see glaciers, whales, eagles, seals, and icebergs, we visited interesting towns, and got to learn about the history and peoples of Alaska. I come home relaxed, a few pounds heavier, and thankful for the wonderful time with my family. And I come home thinking about the way our world works, aware of my own privilege and the ways that I want to interact with people. There’s a lot I don’t know about the people working for Disney that I met over the last few days. I do know that almost all of the people working as servers and room stewards are people of color while the cruise staff and cast members are almost all white. I know that I know nothing about what it might be like to be from Thailand or Indonesia or the Philippines and to work serving the largely white, largely American guests of the ship.  It was also interesting to notice the way the cast members who performed and stared in the shows were ignored when they were acting as character hosts.  When someone is on stage we see them in one way, when they are telling us it’s our turn to meet Mickey Mouse we almost see through them. So while I come home thankful and happy I also come home unsettled.  Is this the world I think God would imagine?  How do I...

Slow Your Roll

This moth we are beginning the work of living in to this new, collaborative ministry at the Southeast Portland Parish.   As we do this work it would be easy to let it swallow us whole.  So Amanda, Jeff, and I are intentionally working to make time to slow down and take breaks.  We each have some time off planned, to unplug and appreciate the things we love.  Amanda and I are also taking some retreat time together to let God speak to us in the wild beauty of Timothy Lake.  It is important to take this sabbath time to rest in God, to take time to enjoy life and be with the people we love. May you find time this summer to slow down and create space to see more deeply and breath more easily....

We Are In This Together

 On Sunday afternoon I was completely out of energy.  This past week had been fairly intense.  It’s lots of work to move in to a new office and get all the pieces in place to pull off that first worship experience.  Physically I was tired from all the moving and unpacking.  Emotionally I was tired from the energy poured out to meet and connect with new folks.  Mentally I was tired from all the writing and planning we had done.  I was worried dinner would be a disaster. And then my family got home from their trip and began the work of setting up for the meal.  I walked to the store to buy some food and by the time I got home everything was ready.  When people began to arrive I felt like myself again. This work we do can be a heavy burden, but the thing I have learned is that I do not do it alone.  I can’t.  This is why our proposal for the Southeast Portland Parish included 3 clergy.  It takes a team to do this sort of creative, innovative work.  When I am depleted and out of ideas, Jeff and Amanda are there to carry on while I recover for a minute.  It’s not just times of low energy when we need the team.  Every idea we have is better when the three of us collaborate and discuss the idea together.  We bring our own perspectives and end up with a more complete idea than if just one of us was working alone. It’s not just with the staff that we work as...

Singing a New Song

Today as I finally finished setting up my work space in the new collaborative Southeast Portland Parish office at Trinity UMC I set aside some time for my daily devotionals.  The psalm for the day is 86 and my reading began with: Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; I instantly started singing a song that I learned when we served the church in Yakima.  When we sang that same song, Cry of My Heart, at the church in Veneta we sang it a little differently.  With our worship leaders guiding us it took on a more gospel feel than the slightly edgy rock way the worship band did it in Yakima. As we begin a new adventure this week with the Southeast Portland Parish I know that I will learn to sing old songs in new ways.  I will also learn new songs.  One of the most rich spiritual gifts of the SFC community for me has been the music that one of our leaders, Ace Waters, brings to our gatherings.  So many weeks I find myself in tears as we sing.  Sometimes the music he chooses speaks to the pain of losing someone, or reminds me of the way our world cries for justice, or stirs my soul with hopefulness as we sing of God’s grace. And the tears flow as the music transcends the moment and unites our community in the spirit. Sometimes when singing old songs in new ways I want to do it the old way, the way that reminds me of the past and the people who I once...

Summer Art

This summer my daughter and I are focusing on art.  She was really hoping to have an art class during the school year, but wound up in other awesome electives instead.  This week we are engaging with landscape art.  I have a friend who is a painter and she is hosting us in her backyard, teaching Paige how to think about perspective, light, and lines. As I’ve watched a scene emerge from a blank canvas I’ve been thinking about learning by trying, which is basically my ministry philosophy.  My friend has been painting for years, so she intuitively knows how to shadow a hillside or bring clouds to life.  For my daughter this painting is about experiential learning.  When she started mixing colors she was conservative in her approach, yielding a tiny batch of a particular shade.  She struggled to achieve her design with such little paint, so began to be more and more liberal with her portions as she mixed. My friend could have simply told her to use more, but letting Paige figure it our for herself is a much more rewarding experience for everyone in the end.  My daughter did get frustrated at points. This was when Nancy, who is a good teacher, began to ask questions.  “What do you think will happen if you do that?”  “What do you see?”  She also was encouraging, saying things like, “You are developing such a great eye.”  or “I love the movement in this section.” I do not expect Paige’s painting to be a masterpiece.  Just like her first poem or song or story wasn’t.  Just like my...

Setting Up Shop

This week I’ve packed two boxes and bought a standing desk.  Amanda and I have talked about the art work we’ll be hanging in our new collaborative office at Trinity UMC and we have an appointment next week to buy chairs. We’ll be liberating her table from the SFC house basement.  It will be used as a space for meeting and dreaming together and with leadership teams. It’s exciting to be in this not quite yet place.  We’re making plans and setting up systems and ways of being.  It’s a time of possibility and potential.  I have this frission of excitement in me, and a little bit of nervousness.   I know that in the next few months I am going to learn a ton. We are ready to begin and that is a beautiful thing.  I can’t wait to share with you about the new life of the Southeast Portland Parish as we launch on July 1!   -Eilidh...

Those Pesky Details

One of the more experimental parts of our life as a new church has been the administration piece. With the new Southeast Portland Parish we had to think through all sorts of issues.  How was money going to be handled between the two groups?  Who was responsible for the SFC house and the insurance and property taxes that go along with the house?  Once we came up with a way forward that led to all sorts of other questions, such as how to incorporate a faith community.  I’m learning a lot about all of these things and while we have amazing conference staff walking with us we are not their only responsibility. Right now the plan is that Trinity UMC will open a new checking account that will be for payroll.  Both SFC and Trinity will pay in to that account, Trinity at the amount they are paying for their current pastoral staff package and SFC for the rest of Amanda, Jeff and my salaries.  For those super in to numbers, Trinity is paying about 36% of the total cost for the three of us, which means the rest is coming from the grant we received and the giving of SFC.  This helps both faith communities to retain control of their assets and as we begin life together it is important that each side feel safe. Trinity has a large endowment and SFC has a substantial balance we are bringing in due to our frugal spending and the generous giving of our folks over the past 4 years.  Once we are clear about the way forward maybe we can...

Standing Up For Love

This past week our community was rocked by a violent crime.  On a commuter train in the NE part of the city a man began yelling atrocious threats at two teenage girls, one african american, the other wearing a headscarf.  People intervened, telling the man he could not speak to the girls this way.  He reacted with shocking violence, slashing the necks of three men, two of whom died. Story after story has poured in to our local media of every day heroism in this fateful moment.  Particularly stirring are the tales of the courage and the core values of the three men who witnessed something that they could not let stand and so reacted, trying to calm the perpetrator and protect the victims.  Others rushed to their aid, holding them in love as they died, offering what first aid they could on a train platform.  Still others ran after the man, ensuring that police found him quickly. The walls of the station where the train stopped have become a community memorial.  In chalk hundreds of people have scrawled out messages of love, hope, and grief.  Our community has reacted, claiming that love matters and that we will be a people who refuse to let hate and intimidation rule us. Our job now as people in this place at this time is to be tender with one another.  Our community is working to hold space for our shared anguish and to encourage one another to be the kind of people who live the way we think God calls us to live as people of love.  The stakes are incredibly high.  Are...

Flexing The Brain Cells

This week Jeff, Amanda, and I got together to plan the themes and some of the worship and gathering details for July-September.  It took us 3 and a half hours of praying, reading scriptures, listening to Jeff play songs, laughing, trusting, and collaborating. Afterwards I felt more than a little foggy, so I took a nap.  These aren’t skills I’ve had to use in a long time. Back in Boise Jeff and I worked with a team to plan worship.  At Veneta I did it on my own.  At Capitol Hill I simply worked a month ahead.  To do this work of listening to the spirit within the Southeast Portland Parish pastoral team was wonderful and exhausting.  Next time, planned for the end of August, I know it will be easier. We already figured out that picking scriptures for a month and then going back to pick songs didn’t work as well as when we went week by week picking out scriptures and songs at the same time. Another thing that will make it easier is by next time we will have been all working together at Southeast Portland Parish for a few months.  We’ll have an even better sense of what God is calling us to share with the folks in our faith communities and neighborhoods. I know that this next year is going to be full of moments like this week.  Moments of incredibly rewarding hard work.  Moments when my brain is foggy and tired from using old skills I haven’t called on in a while.  Moments that require me to rest afterwards.  I also know I’ll...

Celebrating Life

Several of my friends offered sympathy to me this week that I had to work on Mother’s Day.   I think I actually had the perfect day.  I got to share time with wonderful people over a meal, which is one of my favorite things in the whole world.  I love hosting people in our home.  I love eating.  I love being challenged and asking questions about matters of faith.  Besides eating with friends one of my other favorite things in life is sleeping.  Every Sunday I take a nap, so that made this Mother’s Day a good one too. During our music time after brunch I also got to snuggle the sweetest baby.  I’m not a baby crazy person, but this little nugget is really something special. She is only 4 weeks old and rocking her while we sang together as community took me back to my first days as a mother.  It was lovely to remember what was, and to watch my tween dancing and singing to the music at the same time.  It really was a wonderful celebration of what it has meant to be a mom from then until now. My family also gave me a wonderful gift.  It’s the image here, a painting of three birds.  There are three of us and I love birds.  If you’ve been in our home you’ve seen all the bird art work we own.  The pieces of my life, my work, my favorite moments of being all coalesced this Sunday to make a very holy and special day.  Life is a blessing and I’m so glad we get to celebrate it...

Enjoying The Gentle Breeze

This year we planted a garden.   Last night I cleaned and reorganized my vanity.  Sometimes I sit on the Sellwood Bridge on a bench overlooking the river and watch the birds dance in the air as one of my favorite songs plays on my iPod and the warm evening breeze lifts my hair off my neck.  I am celebrating  that life is good and I am happy.  That hasn’t always been the case. In this work we do as church planters, we get reminded at every training and in every book that it is a very hard thing to start a new faith community.  Sustainability, the pressure to succeed, the vulnerability to reach out to new people, all can take a huge toll.   Over the course of our time here at Sellwood a lot of various factors led me to a place where I was not okay, but muddling through.  Luckily I am surrounded by people who know how hard life can be and who remind me of the wholeness God promises to us in sabbath rest and in loving ourselves.  Through things like questions on the quarterly report I send to the regional church to the support of my community I have been able to recognize just how much I was struggling and I was able to ask for help.  This past year I feel like I have been coming back to myself. This journey has been a rich one, and while we always long to not endure suffering, I think that I am so much stronger, better, wiser, and more able to handle my life...

Getting Ready

In July SFC will launch into a crazy new reality, a collaborative ministry with a traditional church in the next neighborhood over. As we prepare for this work we’ve been praying and talking as a community about the logistics of the collaboration for our portion of the community.  One of the ways we are preparing to enter in to relationship with the folks of Trinity UMC is by praying for them by name.  Over the next 8 weeks we will take a select group of names and lift them up on Sunday, sharing those names in our weekly email for continued prayer.  While we plan the schedule, think about themes for the first sermon series, and map out our office spaces, we will be grounding our work in prayer for the future of our community and the people we will be joining in following God. Please offer up your own prayers and love for both Trinity and SFC as we get ready to go on a wonderful, holy adventure together....

Who is in charge here?

About 3 years ago I began a mom’s coffee group.  It started as a monthly gathering, but now we gather most weeks for coffee and to talk about anything and everything.  We talk about Jesus and the bible, Erik Estrada, our families, the election, the big things ahead of us like moving or kids changing schools or finding our own purpose and the small things like what tv shows are good to watch while folding laundry. It’s the place where we come together and share about our lives and help each other find a way forward grounded in love.  That sounds like a pretty darn good church to me.  Plus coffee and baked goods.   Some weeks I can’t be there.  Up until recently that meant that the event was canceled.  Lately some of the moms have decided to hold the space open for others while I’m not there.  This week I was away, so a group gathered together.  They decided that they would rather go at a different coffee shop each week, so that is where they met this time.  They talked to the owner of the new place and arranged for her to reserve tables for us each week.  They got her card and said all I needed to do was text her the dates. I was thrilled. This isn’t my group, it’s our group.  I’m not in charge here, we all contribute to make a meaningful experience  that matters enough to folks to keep it going no matter who can make it that week.  This is the goal of my ministry, of my life’s work, to create spaces...

Sunrise

Every year we celebrate an early morning worship at the river on Easter Sunday.  Every one has been special in some way, from the ritual we engage with to helping a homeless girl who was drawn to our singing.  This year as I looked at the 15 folks gathered in the soft morning light, I was once again struck by the beauty of this community.  Standing together singing Alleluia was the first woman to join with us and a family who have been coming for a few months.  They only met each other last week at dinner, and here they were joyfully greeting one another as the beloved community.  With us in the circle was our newest baby, who I had to grudgingly share with one of our oldest folks.  We are weaving something beautiful in this place. Not only was it a gorgeous morning with beautiful singing, we also created reminds of hope to take with us into our lives.  When things seem hopeless, we can remember Mary, weeping at the tomb, certain all hope had died.  And we can remember what came next, Jesus calling her name.  People made butterflies or wrote prayers inside ornaments and these can hang in places where they need reminders.  And a couple of folks let me know this is just what they need right now in their lives, a reminder that in the midst of what seems hopeless Christ calls our name. What started out 4 years ago as a daunting task, is now a vibrant community, on the verge of a new life with Trinity United Methodist Church.  This is a...

Southeast Portland Parish

After months of dreaming, praying, researching, discussing, budgeting, writing, and wondering the next phase of Sellwood Faith Community is official! We will be collaborating with Trinity United Methodist, which is just in the next neighborhood over.  I am fortunate enough to be serving with a pastoral team that includes Jeff Lowery and Amanda Bollman as we continue to nurture SFC in its growth and partner with Trinity in the work they have begun to discern what is next for that ministry. Jeff and I began dreaming of a new faith community years ago, and finally were able to launch SFC in 2013.  Amanda became one of the leaders of our community over time.  Together we developed this new vision for the ways a nontraditional faith community could partner with a traditional church to develop and strengthen both communities. The name of this new venture is Southeast Portland Parish. While both SFC and Trinity will continue to exist they are now intertwined in reaching out to the neighborhoods of this part of Portland in a parish model ministry. I will continue to provide the administrative leadership of the parish and take on the majority of pastoral care.  Amanda will be engaging community organizing practices and leading community faith development.  Jeff will continue to coordinate music for SFC’s gatherings, lead the youth group, and coordinate our service experiences.  I will get back to preaching 3 times a month at Trinity, while Amanda will be preaching once a month. I am looking forward to having an office that isn’t in the kitchen.  I am looking forward to getting to know and love a whole...

Ebb & Flow

Sunday evening our house was full of people.  We had to add an additional table so we had enough seats.  As I was retrieving more placemats and delegating the procurement of cups I couldn’t help but smile as the laughter of children, the introduction of new folks, and the reconnections of community members bubbled around me.  The week before it was a very different scene. Just a few of us at the table, having a quiet conversation that ended earlier than our set time. This is our life.  Some weeks I’m caught up in the vibrant energy of the community, other weeks there are just a few of us sharing a different kind of connection.  All of it is wonderful and sacred.  I kind of love the ebb and flow, the unexpected chemistry of each gathering.  One brunch we have 16, the next 5 resulting in totally different dynamics, not to mention totally different food options. Flexibility is the watch word.  I always have enough food on hand in case a big group shows up and we need more, or we have a wildly unbalanced meal, say all bread,  with a small crowd.  Sometimes I change up what I had planned for us to do, taking the size of the gathering in to account. It’s hard, and yet I wouldn’t change it.  People have lives and this community is part of that.  We go with the ebb and flow of real life and I think that is one of the most beautiful gifts of this ministry at SFC....